Next to Nothing (Again)

Fifa and Uefa both seem to operate under a code that shows no actual attachment to reality. This is nothing new, sporting bodies are nearly always reactive, hardly ever being brave enough to take the lead by instigating reforms in advance of obvious problems. Today Fifa took the low road once more by fining the Croatian FA a meager $28,000 for racist behaviour by their fans towards black English players at last months’ WCQ. 28 grand - yeh that will really help to stamp the problem out! Measures that actually censor fans footballing experience, such as banning fans from attending home games, playing offending nations home matches in outer Siberia, or actually doing something proactive like, I don’t know, expulsion from competition those countries that continually offend. But no, that sadly would be doing something; Fifa actually released this meaningless statement today: (you can hear the concealed laughter from the Croatian FA, their fans would sadly utter more offensive comments.)

"Racism has no place in football. Fifa is determined to continue broadcasting this message around the globe and deploying all of the means at its disposal to eliminate this form of discrimination."

I would like to advise Fifa (and Uefa) that the removal of racism with a paltry fine of $28,000 is nowhere near eliminating discrimination by all of the means possible. It is in fact, doing basically sod all.

Another Fine Mess

Recent season have not been kind to Leeds United, they have almost successfully turned themselves into a footballing equivalent of British Leyland. I suppose I should own up from the beginning and admit that Leeds is not a club for which I have much sympathy with or for. Following the red United from Manchester, having bricks thrown at me whilst trying to gain entry to Elland Road once and having a parent who was a Leeds fanatic, meant their every setback was cheerful footnote to my match day.

Indeed their subsequent relegation from the Premiership in 2004 was the only saving grace from a woeful season for my own United. So their continued spiral towards the outer regions of the English league, economic downturn, farcical boardroom shenanigans and dodgy ownership you would have thought would have been an endless rainbow.

As inevitable relegation form the Championship became a certainty at the back end of last season, their club owner voluntarily placed them in administration, “to save the club” and they were docked 10 points and sent to League One. A strange thing then happened, the other league clubs got the hump with Leeds for their legal, if morally unpalatable, decision to enter administration. Committees were called, men with large stomachs eyed up lunch expenses, eccentric persons with blazers huffed and puffed and Leeds were docked a further 15 points, so they began the current season on -15.

Now I really don’t know the rights and wrongs of the case. I freely admit that I chuckled when the announcement was made, but here is the thing, Leeds then appealed (as was their wont). So what then happened? Yes you perceptive mind has probably nailed the rivet to the steel, nothing happened. Everything was swept under the carpet, hidden on the top shelf and suspended in time until we reach the end of season with 4 games remaining.

Only in what can be described as a lunatic decision; the appeal is just being heard. Let us put a time scale to this, Leeds were docked their points on August 4th 2007, it is now the middle of April 2008. Does it really take that long to successfully conclude an appeal? More worrisome, is that if it does – why? More troubling still, who in the game’s governing body is allowing this to happen?

There is almost a whiff of the West Ham controversy of last season, when without putting too fine a point on it, West Ham were effectively “fined” an award of twenty-five million pounds for lying and cheating.* The spark to that incident also occurred in August and the final hearing for some unexplained reason waited until April before deciding any points penalty would be unfair on their clubs. Thank god these lawyers weren’t at Nuremburg!

Whether Leeds are guilty for infringing on League rules is not really the issue, but delaying the final decision until just before the conclusion of the season is unfair on Leeds and the other clubs in that division. If Leeds is given any of their points back, then the whole nature of the table changes, in some permutations dramatically so. How can that possibly be right or fair? Common sense alone would seem to suggest that it wouldn’t be the case, but then again as we are dealing with football administration perhaps we shouldn’t be too surprised at the shambles that is just around the corner. It is once more a powerful damning of how the game is inadequately run in England.

Leeds’ current plight is somewhat self-inflicted due to their economic ineptitude at the start of the 2000s. They gambled with their futures and it all came horribly unstuck, which led to player fire-sales, relegations and laughter all abound by their rivals. By the end of 2007 season their plight was so perilous they had twice been bought by Ken Bates. Supporters must have thought things could not get any worse!

Yet there must be sympathy with their fans (this really is not a phrase I ever thought I would utter) because they have been tossed around like limp lettuce leaf in salad bowl. As usual when those in power in England involve themselves in the running of the game, the fans are the ones who always suffer. Whatever the results of the appeal are, the decisions should have been made many months before so fans of Leeds and other clubs could get to grips with the outcome long before the season is almost finished. Sadly that would have been too blindingly obvious and easy for English football to understand.

*West Ham were fined five million pounds for their contravening of Premier League rules. Yet because they stayed in the division they are annually awarded thirty million pounds as a basic sum from television revenue. When adding higher income rates from sponsorship, no wonder West Ham thought they had got a result. The only fair outcome would have been to have had points deducted, but then "blindingly obvious" is nothing but an oxymoron to the Premier League.

The Season is Over!

This new modern technology is indeed a mysterious wonder. Our final game of the season has been played...even though the kick of date was scheduled for May 5th, or next month. Apparently a thrilling 0-0 draw did not truly reflect the game that was brimming with off-side goals, red cards, missed penalties, nubile cheerleaders and even a streaker. What a way to sign off the season that ended with DEH FC finishing in a respectable 8th position, a huge improvement on last season in both points and performances. Our final season's tale of the tape is as follows:

2007-08

1: 茶・茶 10 8 0 2 38 10 24

8: DEH FC 10 2 4 4 13 15 10
11: FC Dynamo 10 1 8 1 13 47 4

*Really 8 as we had two phantom 0-0 draws....

DEH March News

Football Kit Saga

Towards the end of 2006 I started to swirl the idea around that our beloved little football team needed a new kit. It was becoming somewhat embarrassing (not to mention looking like we were auditioning for parts in Oliver Twist) as our band of players were turning up in shirts that were vaguely blue, that we needed to be kitted out anew. So, I decided to check out different options and prices and discover exactly what were facing.

Now the Internet was designed purposely for this adventure. Thousands of pages dedicated to an endless plethora of options, colours, designs, patterns, material and of course the crux – prices. I eventually came down to a couple of options, one with a Greek Goddess as its name, the other a hybrid of the founders’ name. I sent options to trusted sages (well Dan and Dave) and in consultation with the skipper (my old student Daisuke) we decided on 3 options.

As the total price was edging towards £300 including coloruful numbering, a shiny new badge and sponsorship branding, a decision was reached to tap up our team’s founder and benefactor. After originally agreeing to cough up, he cried off a week later mumbling something about having money only to pay the teachers at his school. Now, obviously any balanced person would conclude that the football team, the representatives, nay shining beacon of the school should take priority. But there you have it, that’s the sad state of the world.

Thus the idea was benched and we plodded on into the new 2007-08 campaign continuing to resemble a ragtag bunch of outfits than even a Vivienne Westwood model would thumb her nose at.

As we started to exit 2007 I once again floated the idea that buying a new kit would, perhaps help us bond a little better as a team. It is difficult as most of the team are young, overworked, heavily hung-over Hiroshima Univ. medical students, which means we tend to see them only at games or my wedding party – and even then not so much as there were young ladies awaiting their smooth charm. (It seemed to work as well as by all accounts the team actually now has supporters!)

I proposed a splitting of the final fee, if the 3 (ever so slightly richer) gaijins would stump up ￥30k, could they rustle up the remaining. This was agreed I went forth to locate a kit that a) would be reasonable in summer and b) not more than about ￥2k per shirt. This I managed to do without too much time spent and then out of the blue our team benefactor contacted me willing to pay 50% of the final total if we emblazoned the schools’ name on our breasts. Obviously this was agreed to, I mean DEH isn’t that bad, does anyone remember Crystal Palace circa late 1980s..?

So the long saga was nearly complete and our order was sent in to a company located in Devon, south east England. As price and the coulour blue (the chairman’s order) were binding details, the £30 (basic) ultra cool, ultra breathable space-aged clima-cool something or other was out of the window. As Dan didn’t want a round neck our choice was reduced further. We settled on the Adidas Tabela footbal shirt £9 a pop plus numbering, (new) badge and sponsorship.

As the declining yen and pound had suddenly lifted 15% off the price I found myself with a little extra cash so I purchased an “away” shirt as blue tends to be a popular choice.

So, sometime this week the new DEH 2008-09 shirt should be arriving to be debuted as the tradition seems to go these days, in our last game of the 2007-08 season, which confusingly occurs in May, which is after the opening games of the 2008-09 season.

A little side to this elongated tale is on our way down to Fukuoka last week with the missus I was telling the dear beloved the ins and outs of purchasing said kit (she was riveted to her seat), I casually joked that I should have just asked the old father-in-law for sponsorship infusion. As I chuckled she replied casually, “That’s a good idea, if you put the name of his museum on the front he would have given you about ￥100k. Several expletives were uttered at this point.

Ghostly Draws

We had 1 game scheduled for March, a nice local ground in Inokuchi at a reasonable evening KO time. Due to rain preventing play the game was cancelled and as I perused the league’s webpage the next week to find out the re-scheduled appointment I was surprised to learn that despite nobody turning up the game ended 0-0. We should not turn up for a few more games, we would then rest assuredly in mid-table all season long!

As it is, a respectable 8th place is where we currently lie with one game remaining and to be honest, win lose or draw, 8th place is where we will finish, unless we win by 7 clear goals. So as I said, 8th place we will remain.

The Mummy Retires...Maybe.

Dan, the 3nd oldest member of our erstwhile team is pondering retirement as the old body is no longer held together with miles of bandages as it once was. Shy of his 40th year, it sadly seems he won’t be following Dave into his 5th decade of playing football. He is attempting to line up once more, if nothing more than to model the new kit for our game in May. But maybe he will do a Mark Twain on us yet.

The New “Away” shirt – handy for those Hiroshima summers.　(OK, OK it's a bib! But still...)